This Silence is Suffocating Me

by Rebecca Mannor, San Diego Jewish Academy '23

September 23, 2020

Untitled artwork by Amy Ge, Torrey Pines High School '22

This

Is no longer a childish game of hide and seek where the

Silence

Claws at my esophagus, ripping away my humanity in red splatters. Why

Is

This my reality? How do I escape this nightmare masquerading as paradise, a world crashing down around me leaving no survivors, no witnesses while muffled laughter echoes through the empty halls I used to call my brain

Suffocating

My hope, crumpling it in a lifeless choke like the useless paper my words blend into because no one cares what a fourteen-year-old has to say unless it is typed double space in Times New Roman twelve point font- just like my voice that is not loud enough to be heard so I don’t even try because I have learned to flinch when I just add to the noise. Is it just

Me

Or is this silence a poison that I have ingested? Will I be free? Or will I stay captive even as death closes in around me, don’t let anyone tell you it is a blanket of darkness - it is not a friend. Did I forget to mention I am claustrophobic? Can you hear me now that the silence is overpowering?