_edited.png)
Bitter Negligence
- Sophia Ai
- Jun 3, 2020
- 2 min read
by Alyssa Kuang, The Bishop's School '23
THEY used to play music for me. THEY used to sing and dance and laugh. THEY
used to congratulate my mom, saying a child was a gift from heaven. THEY used to tell me stories that I have little recollection of. THEY used to visit from the other side of the country to ask how I was. THEY were all expectant; getting their hopes up too untimely. THEIR pride I was, for a short nine months.
THEY thought of me as a miracle. THEY thought I could make a change in
their lives. THEY know now what my worth is. THEY know I am useless. THEY know I cannot work in the farms or get an education. THEY tell my family at dinner parties that I should be left on a hill to die alone. THEIR only hope was shattered by the fifty percent chance that was not my choice. THEIR denial of my existence is unbearable, as if I have chosen to be in this world in the first place. THEY whisper quietly, thinking I cannot hear. THEY talk about what they would want to do with me. THEY let me lie in a crib. THEY give me less attention than they would to a stray cat. THEY let me grow up, just an empty shell, without significance.
THEY were blinded by the views of society. THEY let traditions consume their power to love. THEY did not care about their only child. THEY thought of me as a failure, an unwanted child. THEY never cared about how I felt. THEY only know of me as a nuisance, as another mouth to feed, with nothing to return for the family. THEY never once tried to treat me as family since birth.
THEY loved fantasizing about what I could do, or what I could be when I was still a fetus. THEY simply look at me now in disgust.
If only I beat the fifty percent chance… If only I were a BOY.
